Dear Just Ask Us:

I am in a long term relationship (12 years). We are living together and not married. I love my boyfriend but I feel hurt that he has not yet asked me to marry him. He has told me he doesn't want to be married again (he was married once before and it did not work out). I guess what I am trying to say is should I stay with a man even if he never will marry me?
Signed,
Trying to Figure it Out

Dear Trying:
You need to figure out if it is more important for you to be married or be with your boyfriend. If you are wanting children and want to get married, then you must decide whether having children with someone who does not want to be married is a good idea. If children are not in the picture, then you may want to find out more about why he does not want to get married. Even long term relationships change when the couple gets married- the relationship takes on a deeper level of commitment. While it is fine to not be married, you need to find out what you ultimately want in your life and whether this relationship has enough of that in it. We suggest counseling first for you and then at least a couple of sessions with your boyfriend. Good luck and let us know what happens!

The Advice Sisters

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