Thursday, March 5, 2009

Guest Post- Unrealistic Love by Gracie Duarte

Most of what is on TV today are reality shows. Some of these shows have people chasing millions of dollars, some have them perfecting their body, and some have people trying to find love. Reality shows like the Bachelor, A Shot at Love, and The Bachelorette help singles to find someone to share their hearts with. The problem is that most of the people exposed to reality dating shows are seeing life through rose-colored glasses.

Usually these shows start off with a huge cast of people that are quickly eliminated on the first night. Then as the shows progress relationships are formed and some people have their hearts broken when they are sent home. There are elegant and elaborate dates set up. Sometimes the singles are sent jet-setting to France, have wonderful candlelit dinners on private beaches, and sail the seas on private yachts. Then it is time to meet the parents in their hometowns. Soon the show comes to an end with a dramatic finale when a choice is made between the final two.

The only problem is, by the time these shows make it on the air most of the couples are no longer together. The issue with dating shows is the fact that they become a condensed version of real life. Much like cans of condensed juice, they are too much of a good thing and in order to make them taste right you have to add water to dilute the sweetness.

Life inside a dating show is too much of a good thing. Everything is set to perfection, every candle is perfectly lit, and every rose petal is set in its place much like a puzzle piece. While all of these things are great, they are unrealistic. When there are no responsibilities and no real life, everything is easy. People don’t have to worry about the fact that they live in separate states, their professional lives, finances, household chores and families.

Dating shows don’t usually work out because it is an unrealistic version of real life. Real love is about working though everyday life, and sifting through problems and issues on an everyday basis as they arise. When all of the normal pieces of life are removed from the equation you are left with a puzzle with only the outer edges put together and an empty middle. People that find themselves signing up for dating reality shows should spend some time making new friends and meeting new people. For centuries, people have fallen in love without the assistance of reality dating shows, so maybe we should stick with tradition on this one.

Friday, September 5, 2008

Dear Just Ask Us:

I am in a long term relationship (12 years). We are living together and not married. I love my boyfriend but I feel hurt that he has not yet asked me to marry him. He has told me he doesn't want to be married again (he was married once before and it did not work out). I guess what I am trying to say is should I stay with a man even if he never will marry me?
Signed,
Trying to Figure it Out


Dear Trying:
You need to figure out if it is more important for you to be married or be with your boyfriend. If you are wanting children and want to get married, then you must decide whether having children with someone who does not want to be married is a good idea. If children are not in the picture, then you may want to find out more about why he does not want to get married. Even long term relationships change when the couple gets married- the relationship takes on a deeper level of commitment. While it is fine to not be married, you need to find out what you ultimately want in your life and whether this relationship has enough of that in it. We suggest counseling first for you and then at least a couple of sessions with your boyfriend. Good luck and let us know what happens!

The Advice Sisters

Monday, August 18, 2008

How This Blog Works.....

Welcome to your free advice blog! Learn from others, get help regarding your relationships with lovers, friends, co-workers, bosses- even your neighbors!! Send us an email at: justaskus@live.com regarding any relationship dilemma you have and we will post your problem, with free advice to you here on our blog. You can use fake names of course! Don't worry, we will NOT print any email addresses. Help yourself and help others, shoot us an email and let us help you!!